live to love, not love to live.. just because you requested and i want to see your smile..

stable tachycardia

Still can’t remember the algorithms and doses for the test in 8 hours but I’d better redeem the situation first.

The changes that have occurred in the past week alone are quite amazing.. by His grace of course. Getting life back where it should be.. realizing that this is the first time new year resolutions are actually fulfilled.. and finding it at last, true joy in spite of… but surprisingly, it didn’t come in the form of jumping-for-joy-after-ricola-cranberry but instead.. it’s something the younger me has never felt before.. a strange…peaceful contentment.

Still thinking about what dr L said, my, even a one-hour long lunch with him is a book of philosophy. How does God help you be a better doctor? How much dedication and love does He want you to show for your patients and juniors? How do you balance that with everything else in life? It was also over the chicken rice ball that I found the depth I lost..

Probably disappearing for a year, when mayhem (hm it’s a pun) starts soon so.. keeping off here for a bit.. there are other ways to know me. And still thinking about how to spend that hour.. facebook isn’t part of the equation.. but I’ll keep it to join that group hurhur.

Somehow always found myself trying to take care of others.. but never really did a good job. it left me exhausted and of course, incapable of caring for myself. Who will care for them, I thought. Mf’s book on promises brought this highly useful phrase for the next year:
God alone is our protector and deliverer. We should not be discouraged by weariness or danger. God is fully able to take care of His people.

To those who didn’t make it, sorry, I know it’s not easy.. I’ve been there before. It’s more than just an emotional blow. But you all know it doesn’t mean you’re worser doctors, in fact it makes you better. And keeping you in prayer for the next 6 months..




my happiness is found in less of me and more of You

i have found the answer is

to love You and be loved by You alone

--the answer by shane

notre univers impitoyable

pas de deux

as i was saying, i needed a miracle to pass.
half of o&g and ortho missed = half of surgery.
when the long case turned out to be 1) ortho (where i was at the bottom of the batch) 2) uncommon 3) in hokkien, unfortunately, i couldn't voice out either.

so in jet-lagged blurness, somehow got up in time to nus.
and hey, the miracle happened = )

went home rather reluctant to open mednet, afraid to see the C plus minus, that i really should be used to.
but there were none.

still in a bit of shock (probably anaphylactic), it feels funny putting too foreign letters on my name. not sure what to say, but thanks to everyone for their support, ex and current cg mates; and of course prayers.. there's absolutely no way i could have made it on my own..

will God bring you to where He wants you to go? the answer is yes.. if this little goose can pass = )
someone asked yesterday, is there a God? the answer if you believe this, is yes. but your relationship with Him will be different from mine.
does anyone care? even if no human does, He does all the time.

half way through the book, the Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg that the church gave for baptism. excellent excellent excellent if your spiritual life feels stuck, or if like me, you're just starting.. it really helped me change. amazing how Jesus loves with such depth AND breadth.. imagine if He just superflously glosses over each one of us.. that's something i really have to learn.

and ya vincent, i'll finally return your book to shushan = P haha sorry...

pictures later..
au revoir.


I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failings surely would've drowned me
Still You made a way

-Here in my life