Surgical Drainage

a little lost at the moment. guess it's been a while since i last ended at the bottom. i thought i tried my best. so does it mean it's not good enough? hm. well. suppose that's what the next 6 years are for.

guess i'm very blessed to have met wonderful HOs, and all the wonderful urologists.. u'll never meet surgeons who really care so so much, and i don't mind them coming down hard on me for not doing a good job. then again couldn't care less these days even if a patient gives me blowdryer treatment. poker face.

extremely busy.. 15- hour days and now i know why they pay more for weekend calls.. ran around from 8am to 2am last night.. post-call was at 4pm, went to restaurant after.. aiyo.. so so tired. bleh.

anyway, the more important thing i wanted to say.. was about finding out something, in a deja vu pattern, 2 days before paeds test. this time i was prepared for the news, had a plan and budget to help cope etc.. been working it out for years. but when it came, to my surprise, i didn't bat a an eyelid.. just completely unfazed. didn't need to use a cent cos my true joy wasn't the least bit shaken, the true joy from the Lord. at last, think i'm ready = ) and remained more or less unscathed.

in case there's no time, making announcement now....
by the grace of God:

Getting Baptised!
On Saturday 13TH October 10.00am
at Newton Life Church (near newton mrt.. sms me if u're coming!)
Everyone's invited! (bring your family, friends etc etc)
for more info: www.newtonlifechurch.org


developing anxiety disorder man.. from the daily rounds SQ 1 ward at 1patient/2min, run fast.
really admire HOs, ok above as well la who can really stop what they're doing to say a gentle word, smile despite the 20 others in OT and 30 others in clinic, or 40 other plugs. cos i think i really don't have such cardiomegaly.

incidentally, first page seen in daily bread (12/6/07): 1 Corinthians 11:1 - Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

trying to rem this too: Isaiah 32:18 - My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.
ok, zzz soon.

oh P.S the previous post referred to experiences of others not mine! what were u thinking.. ha the only human love i know is Bailey and Love's principles of surgery.

range of motion

feeling stretched......
trying to make up for ortho, while studying for what is the biggest test of the year pre-mbbs.
expected to find a very serious email from dean's office about it, amused to find this friendly one instead:


The test is not difficult, only a small fraction need a little more time. Some students feel that 3 minutes is too long. We will adjust accordingly should you also feel so on the test day.
The whole test will be over within 1 hour.
After we have collected your answer scripts, the inviligator will go through the answers. If you are not interested, you may choose to leave the room earlier.
Again, nothing to worry. The test is easy as long as you have been studying faithfully. So far very very small number of M5 has failed the test over the years.
GOOD LUCK! And see you on 15th Sept.

guess i realised something, that when people love each other, nothing can stand in the way of being happy together, arguments are transient, but eventually, they find their way back to one another.
not talking about couple love alone, but family, friends, relatives etcetc..
so perhaps, take heart in the present people you hold dear..
and as for those lost relationships, perhaps you never really loved one another. though of course you should.
cos we have been told, to love one another.. and honestly that's one of the hardest things to do, even if you constantly remind yourself that's what God wants.

blissful trio

presenting.. japanese spaghetti with mentaiko seaweed sauteed in olive oil, australian with avocado and tomatoes, thai with tom yam and pineapples.

yay! my parents are convinced i can look after myself!

one last post before ortho starts.. in TTSH! yay can walk past NLC everyday..

just thought of something yesterday.. after Doreen's class (thank God for such a joyful and dedicated mentor).. hesitated abt whether to write about it, but i think i will = )

there was a certain outing to go to a certain place last week, and my immediate cold answer was, "no."

shocking, i shouldn't really be so.. but somehow, memories of that night flooded back. it was the night i realised, that i was nothing.

in my innocence some time ago, always thought that we were all unique and special.. each was a flower, some a red rose, others white lilies.. but we were all beautiful individuals.

i knew i wasn't smart, or pretty, but at least i was me. special. right? no. there and then, realised that actually, to the world, i was nothing but a blade of grass. just like all the blades of grass in the field. everyone was the same, just blades to be used, trampled upon.. no matter how much you tried to be greener, more perfect, you will always be looked upon to be the same as everyone else, a blade of grass.

so then began the self-worth questioning.. and from then on, i promised myself i would never think of myself as special to anyone anymore. the shock that ensues on finding out that you are not, is too much to bear.

struggled with that for a while.. but suddenly, our dearest heavenly Father found me. and it was only then, that i realised hey, no! i have been created for special reasons, i was created to be loved and love, and yes, i am not only special, but meant to be so.

but at the same time, when God looks at us, He sees everyone as the same, loving all equally, no matter what was on the inside, no matter how much wrongdoing you have done, once you're saved, we are all covered by His blood and look the same on the outside. Like a roti prata warmly protecting what is inside..

Grace flows down and covers me..

Covers my sin, covers my heart.