blissful trio

presenting.. japanese spaghetti with mentaiko seaweed sauteed in olive oil, australian with avocado and tomatoes, thai with tom yam and pineapples.

yay! my parents are convinced i can look after myself!

one last post before ortho starts.. in TTSH! yay can walk past NLC everyday..

just thought of something yesterday.. after Doreen's class (thank God for such a joyful and dedicated mentor).. hesitated abt whether to write about it, but i think i will = )

there was a certain outing to go to a certain place last week, and my immediate cold answer was, "no."

shocking, i shouldn't really be so.. but somehow, memories of that night flooded back. it was the night i realised, that i was nothing.

in my innocence some time ago, always thought that we were all unique and special.. each was a flower, some a red rose, others white lilies.. but we were all beautiful individuals.

i knew i wasn't smart, or pretty, but at least i was me. special. right? no. there and then, realised that actually, to the world, i was nothing but a blade of grass. just like all the blades of grass in the field. everyone was the same, just blades to be used, trampled upon.. no matter how much you tried to be greener, more perfect, you will always be looked upon to be the same as everyone else, a blade of grass.

so then began the self-worth questioning.. and from then on, i promised myself i would never think of myself as special to anyone anymore. the shock that ensues on finding out that you are not, is too much to bear.

struggled with that for a while.. but suddenly, our dearest heavenly Father found me. and it was only then, that i realised hey, no! i have been created for special reasons, i was created to be loved and love, and yes, i am not only special, but meant to be so.

but at the same time, when God looks at us, He sees everyone as the same, loving all equally, no matter what was on the inside, no matter how much wrongdoing you have done, once you're saved, we are all covered by His blood and look the same on the outside. Like a roti prata warmly protecting what is inside..

Grace flows down and covers me..

Covers my sin, covers my heart.