why bother?

something possessed me to wake up at 6am today..
perhaps it was the let-downs last night.. after all the effort and anticipation.
perhaps it's just the fact that this'll likely be the last posting in kk for a damsel who isn't quite keen on o&g or paeds..
so trudged to tekka market for breakfast before sunrise.
why? well.. i grew up there. grandpa lived in little india, so going to the market was a weekly, sometimes daily affair.
can't explain the bliss of eating that same bowl of fishball noodles after a dozen-year hiatus (ya lah.. old already) and simple teh tarik (hey let me be convinced that it has anti-oxidants..).. will i be going there more often? =)

just like in a spoonful of korean blueberry yoghurt, there was a literal flashback to il dolce freddo..
and in the honey mixed with warm (skim!) milk, remembering the times shivering by the hostel microwave..
and today's hot coffee.. to the times in flinders lane..

oh i really miss melbourne. a lot. haha.. no fret.. i shall return.

but within minutes, all the fatigue and disappointment melted away.. and was soon back to baseline happiness.. skipping behind the pink-clad nurses to an 8.15 lecture.

that's right. baseline happiness.. when was the last time i felt this way? i thought i never would again.. really believed that i would never find the time that i could be truly content again like i was a certain number of years ago.

but somehow, it just creeped upon me. has anything changed? no, in fact circumstances are perhaps worse off now.. eg the biggest exam of my life is but 6 months away.

rather, somehow, ok, by His grace that's for sure.. just learnt.. how to let go of not one thing.. but everything. at last.

for a worrywart like me.. it seemed near impossible.

but now, no matter how distressing a situation was, within 24 hours, it's back to normal.. cos i've learnt, how to leave it at the foot of the cross.. no more struggling for my efforts are nought compared to leaving it all in His hands.. and the assurance, that it will turn out to be good. definitely. if not for now, then for eternity.

i can't believe this is actually coming from me.. but amazingly, just feel as if there are no more burdens. not. a. single. one.

He took my sins so i can be forgiven.. He has a plan that will never forsake or leave you.. and an everlasting love.. why worry? = )

one of the rarest of times.. feeling so light and free.. oh i am so so lucky...

1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.




it's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry.