feeling even more guilty now..
saw her jaw drop as i received the biggest bouquet of my life with the biggest frown ever, and an irritated pursing of lips to top it off.

sorry.. there are few things that anger me more to know that someone, anyone, has spent the slightest amount of money/attention on yours truly, for it is a great big waste.
cue forced smiles and seething teeth whenever presents come my way..
double standards, some may say but really i enjoy giving.. hate receiving.

as such, i'm sorry but no birthday has been truly happy, cos really i'd rather u spend it on yourself/ your family/ your friends.. no offense! i really don't know why i'm like that.. material possesions are pretty trivial.. most of what i own are gifts.

next time do donate it to charity/ buy a bag for yourself/ top up your ez link and let me know.. i promise to give u the most sincere of smiles = )


haiz.. just found out my friends have been looking forward to SIP for ages.. how can anyone want to wake up at 4.30am, do endless procedures and reach home at midnight 7 days a week (the worst part as always is not being able to go to church!), plus all the night calls, is truly beyond me. really really hope and pray i won't become grumpy or disillusioned, and that i can keep awake while walking... if i don't reply for the next one month you know why..

and i'm already feeling exhausted..