distension

17/5/07
whirlwind of a day.. consultant says, “please clerk the patient in bed xx and present to me”. Reg says same thing with another bed, and the intern too.. our team’s on take so regular trips to the ED with plenty of expletives, blood and oxygen. haha only had like 5 minutes for lunch before rushing for tut. And still have presentation on scleroderma to prep for tmr’s ward round.. gotta start on report before supervisor goes on leave too. haha. No going out for me tonight. Would love to give details about the food but hm no time.. will compile a list someday so if anyone wants it let me noe..

basically went to dockland's hot chocolate cafe, queen vic market, chinatown and more to come!

argh insomnia.. every night in the medical students’ quarters, 3 dutch, 1 briton and a Singaporean are kept awake by code blue alarms, bats screeching and cars racing. And a heater that won’t stop.

Still raining..

15/5/07

Suppose we’re quite protected as medical students. Whatever we don’t want to do, we don’t really have to. But here they gave me clinical responsibilities.. supposed to do a mini mental state exam on a lady, document in the notes etc.. and now I understand what it’s really like to have delirium/ alzheimer’s and it ain’t pretty at all. Sometimes I wonder what’s worse, to be fully aware of all the horrible things happening to your body; or to be absolutely oblivious to it, no sense of what is going on at all, with no idea what the mothers’ day cards on your table are about, essentially, not living at all.

= ( vertigo and diarrhea day. Suppose it’s a consequence of running to town almost everyday while recovering from URTI.. all my fault la. Ok spent the day in bed before going to stokers, apparently serving the best pancakes in Melbourne. It was such a disappointment though.. suppose it was stupid of me to order asparagus in the winter, the Vienna coffee was cold, diluted and left me with gastritis. And it cost 15 dollars in all! To top it all off the train was delayed for 25 min.. bleh.. had to wait in the cold rain. thank goodness for the fur coat and lovely mint twix.

Oh please stop raining.. don’t have an umbrella leh..

It was a picture from 2 years ago. Only then, did I realize what it’s like. After seeing patients no younger than 70 in our chronic diseases unit who have had better days.. do I realize one of the saddest things in life. It’s not knowing that something is gone. It’s when you know it’s still here, but it can never be the same again. I know.. you will never have those eyes happily filled with innocent love again. I know.. you will never have that secure contented smile again. I know.. you will never be recklessly calculative again. I know.. you will never have that carefree anger as you try to prove yourself to the world now. I know.. everything has changed.. although I don’t know why. Yes maybe I have the Lord to help me through it, but sometimes the sadness felt for those who do not, is a little too much for me to take..

13/5/07

woo hoo.. this com can post pics!
anw, just found out i gained 2kg since coming here.. oh dear me. ok 1kg before back to normal again.
ok, admittedly, didn't believe my frens when they said, melbourne has much better food.. i was like, er, singapore's food very bad meh?
but... since coming here... oh my, for today, the grilled fish was so wonderful.. yesterday, the sticky date pudding and iced chocolate in docklands was absolutely crazy, tang chao on sat night was the nicest cha chan ting i've ever been to.. the almond tea tasted like real almond.. not forgetting the portuguese mexican food, and scones and mango passionfruit cheescake etc etc.. it's only been a week!

haven't got started on pancakes, korean, japanese, french, italian food and greek food either.. many more cafes to explore.. cannot finish = )

well.. anw, wanted to talk abt the sermon i heard yesterday.. hm let's just say it was powerful.. but the greater part of the time, wished i was back in NLC. it finally hit home the meaning of sin.. yes laugh at me but i didn't know that sin was not the result of adam eating the apple, that was a transgression. it was the fact that it came from the tree of knowledge, good and evil. the reason why we are fallen is not directly because of sin, but because sin causes death. like i didn't give money to a beggar on the train (yes, ashamed of that) cos the compassion and love for fellow human in me had died. and we think we know more than others, like "wow u're completely able-bodied to be able to work, and anyway you shouldn't be on the train if u have no money, plus i can't give you my money. it comes from my dad." of course there ain't much we can do about it other than try to change our ways the next time. yes we will forever fall short of holy standards. but then.. we also fall short of the world's standards.. eg i'm too fat/ short/ ugly/ stupid.. and somehow we let that take control of our lives instead, and make us insecure and fearful. in so doing, we are subjecting ourselves to a whip, driven by the master that is society, much like pharoah's whip in those days. but we shouldn't. for Jesus is our real master. we were meant to be so much more than what we think we are. we were meant to strive to be Christlike.. even if we can never be. that is our potential.. and the sooner we let go of our low self-esteem and ask for the strength to fulfil His purpose for our lives, not just for now, but also for eternity.. the better = )