the gift
left the familiar gates, with a heavy heart, but for a different reason today.
it was time to bid goodbye to a dream that was all of fifteen years old.
somehow the distance widened, as i dragged my feet in the night air.
just like the distance between aptitude and attitude.
alas, i will look nowhere but to You. through this disappointment that pointed nowhere but to myself. i will trust Your guidance.
ok, here's to the last new year i can spend with family.. i will learn to be joyful in that.
operation love and joy has been going pretty well so far.. not by my effort but His grace of course.
many times we have been warned, so i'm extra super careful when speaking to patients' relatives, not to give something. something worse than false accusation, false testimony, false praise.. it's called false hope. hope that makes you dream of the beautiful best wonderful scenario, only to be let down, thrown into the deep suffocating ocean in the end. the past weeks made me realise that there is only one true hope that is to be believed, it lies not in mankind, the hope of salvation is the only thing that stands.
i suppose i was chased out of that room long ago. but of course, i stood in the doorway, not knowing what was left behind. but now, i see a picture of bliss and contentment.. so finally, smiling, i closed the door. now i'll finally walk in the corridor by myself.. to be the strong and independent person everyone expected of me, and that i've come to expect of myself as well. miss independent. working hard for mbbs.
oh well back to the books. (and gym i hope) take care everyone.
learnt a valuable lesson: that love doesn't always lead to hurt. and hurt doesn't always mean love.
"The mountains may disappear and the hills may come to an end, but my love for you will never disappear and my promise of peace will not come to an end."
Isaiah 54:10
it was time to bid goodbye to a dream that was all of fifteen years old.
somehow the distance widened, as i dragged my feet in the night air.
just like the distance between aptitude and attitude.
alas, i will look nowhere but to You. through this disappointment that pointed nowhere but to myself. i will trust Your guidance.
ok, here's to the last new year i can spend with family.. i will learn to be joyful in that.
operation love and joy has been going pretty well so far.. not by my effort but His grace of course.
many times we have been warned, so i'm extra super careful when speaking to patients' relatives, not to give something. something worse than false accusation, false testimony, false praise.. it's called false hope. hope that makes you dream of the beautiful best wonderful scenario, only to be let down, thrown into the deep suffocating ocean in the end. the past weeks made me realise that there is only one true hope that is to be believed, it lies not in mankind, the hope of salvation is the only thing that stands.
i suppose i was chased out of that room long ago. but of course, i stood in the doorway, not knowing what was left behind. but now, i see a picture of bliss and contentment.. so finally, smiling, i closed the door. now i'll finally walk in the corridor by myself.. to be the strong and independent person everyone expected of me, and that i've come to expect of myself as well. miss independent. working hard for mbbs.
oh well back to the books. (and gym i hope) take care everyone.
learnt a valuable lesson: that love doesn't always lead to hurt. and hurt doesn't always mean love.
"The mountains may disappear and the hills may come to an end, but my love for you will never disappear and my promise of peace will not come to an end."
Isaiah 54:10
posted by skimmedoff @ 9:40 PM
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