hanging in there

thought of removing the previous post.. but haha that's like cowardice.
over-reacted a little.. but sometimes it does get hard.
still no reason to give up!

after vincent's inspiring sermon, i'll continue trying to be more cheerful.. as testimony to the Lord.. success is nowhere imminent and in fact relapsing now.. but maybe while grouchiness can't be cured, it can be managed. rx: love, care and prayers.

eating way too much chocolate for my own good.. but seriously our chocolate cake and coconut sorbet is really really scrumptious.. mm..

as you can see, haven't lost a gram.


it only occurred to me today, how much i've changed in the past 4 years.
perhaps i did live out what was to be a self-fufilling prophecy.. never being there at all. and therefore never missed.
but all it took was that second, that one single second..

and i understand
you've come to shake my hand
i apologise
if it makes you feel bad
seeing me so tense
no self-confidence
but you see,
the winner takes it all...

the loser has to fall.

malunited closed, displaced fracture

i officially give up.

if ever i saw that 19 year old me who said she wanted to join medicine to save lives, i'd throttle her, and scream that some people don't want to be saved, some people don't think they need help to be saved, some people can never be saved and these are always the ones who matter most and in the end you find out you have to save yourself but you just don't know how. and you'll find out that after trying to save everyone and not succeeding, you just end up losing everything you once had that you worked your entire life for.

a questions posted by young adult that day, if you weren't a Christian, what would your life now be like? i shudder at the thought.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life