salvation

2.16am

i dunno why i'm here, then again maybe i do.

one of which is cos been spending nights up racked with guilt, wondering what i can possibly do for Him, if i return at 10pm everyday, and even have to skip school to the point that tutors think i'm pregnant (?!!!). it's just the greater omentum.

so i guess this is it. whenever time arises, to blog not about what happened, but how Christ is helping me thru everything.

i'm sorry.. i noe everyone thinks i don't trust them, but it's not so.. hands and legs are tied. i'm sorry too for not being able to meet anyone. but really can't.. and anyway just a wet blanket now. most of all i'm sorry to all who were victims of my odd emotional outbursts = (((

Lord, i dun understand sometimes why all this is happening. i know You want the best for me, but this seems to be bringing out the worst in everyone. as the days pass, i begin to hate myself more and more. and gradually lose my friends.

but i know You are there for me, and without Your help, i would not have made it till now.

of the many verses that were of comfort, guess this is still the best:

Psa 23: 1-4
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honour to his name.
Even when I walk through the dark valley of death,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me,
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.



and shall try to remember..
Isa 61:3
and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.


everything else that has happened, is just too private.

today i realised, the hurt is still there.. Man is just so weak.

Merry Christmas.