"you're a disgrace."

"i'm ashamed to go out with you."

"you never allow anyone to go close to you."

"you can never upkeep a relationship."

some of the things thrown into my face the past few days. last night became another breaking point.

granted. i've let people down. maybe almost everyone.

the worst part of being a new Christian is suddenly realising that you have let God down too.

and will continue to, for the rest of your life.

but last night, again a timely reminder by "a fresh start" how God loves us still.. always.. not because we are wonderful people, but simply, and purely because we are His forgiven children.

1 Corinthians 2: 15

The spiritual man makes judgement about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgement.

so it's ok to be a little deficient.. i'm sorry i'm not superwoman, i'm sorry i can't please anyone. but i'm really trying my best.

in case you were wondering, nope, nothing related to lovey-dovey relationships. no no. thank God.

expected this to be physically draining.. but didn't think it'll be emotionally draining too.

of course i'm fatter.. look at all the photos posted.. perhaps after waking up at 5.45am for 7 weeks, almost-daily tests, weekly clinical examinations and night calls plus no social life except for having to go to the lilla gems shop till 8pm every day, it'll all burn off. (haha, complaining again)

something extraordinary happened during today's testimonial. it's as if Someone took over? always shunned public speaking, but somehow it all flowed today. just hope the impact our Lord intended was made = )

my shame He took away..