continue management
just felt the need to write this.. after 3 friends in 2 days have talked about the same thing/s.. i'm doing it more for them than myself.
i think.. we're all tired. not so much physically, 6 hours of sleep is sometimes enough after going without for 36 hours.
but emotionally.. so just.. forgive us for the mistakes we make which are increasing (myself included), the times when we are absolutely nonchalant, the "sorry i can't talk cos i'm on call" line, the absence from everywhere else other than __H.. and understand that when we are actually free despite 3 calls in a week, we often stare into space, sleep and wonder where we are going.
on a personal note, my lowest point was the november/ december portion.. yes i was tempted to walk off the path of current work, foolishly, because i couldn't take it anymore.. i guess i should be thankful that at least my friends are still on it.
but that incident happened and everything seemed out of reach.. so it was somewhere along the north-south highway that, thank God... i realised that disobedience was the hardest way out.. and went back on the straight and narrow.. so He rescued me again.
i'm really very lucky.. because He gave me that vision last week (although there were some hiccups initially).. just as i was jogging today.. and transfixed on a very far away mirror.. running towards that made me much less tired. and indeed with those new inspirations of the very distant future.. i'm very blessed to be able to go on every day with some energy intact.. dare i even say that i'm learning to care for patients a little more each day.. and i can only wish that for everyone else. because yes, i do feel saddened when my friends say they want to give up.. i almost did.. and it would have been a waste.. plus, i simply don't want to lose them...
in the meantime.. indeed when i was still.. and left it to Him.. things turned out wonderful beyond my imagination = )
the end. will be the beginning.
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
i will be still, know You are God
i think.. we're all tired. not so much physically, 6 hours of sleep is sometimes enough after going without for 36 hours.
but emotionally.. so just.. forgive us for the mistakes we make which are increasing (myself included), the times when we are absolutely nonchalant, the "sorry i can't talk cos i'm on call" line, the absence from everywhere else other than __H.. and understand that when we are actually free despite 3 calls in a week, we often stare into space, sleep and wonder where we are going.
on a personal note, my lowest point was the november/ december portion.. yes i was tempted to walk off the path of current work, foolishly, because i couldn't take it anymore.. i guess i should be thankful that at least my friends are still on it.
but that incident happened and everything seemed out of reach.. so it was somewhere along the north-south highway that, thank God... i realised that disobedience was the hardest way out.. and went back on the straight and narrow.. so He rescued me again.
i'm really very lucky.. because He gave me that vision last week (although there were some hiccups initially).. just as i was jogging today.. and transfixed on a very far away mirror.. running towards that made me much less tired. and indeed with those new inspirations of the very distant future.. i'm very blessed to be able to go on every day with some energy intact.. dare i even say that i'm learning to care for patients a little more each day.. and i can only wish that for everyone else. because yes, i do feel saddened when my friends say they want to give up.. i almost did.. and it would have been a waste.. plus, i simply don't want to lose them...
in the meantime.. indeed when i was still.. and left it to Him.. things turned out wonderful beyond my imagination = )
the end. will be the beginning.
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
i will be still, know You are God
posted by skimmedoff @ 1:14 PM
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